Dummy The Comedy And Chaos Of Real Life Parenting Book PDF, EPUB Download & Read Online Free

Dummy

Dummy

Author: Matt Coyne
Publisher: Wildfire
ISBN: 1472243730
Pages: 368
Year: 2018-02-22
**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER** 'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.' Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby. This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you. Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people. Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy: 'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror 'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning 'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail 'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph
Man Vs. Baby Parenting for the Inept the Scared the Immature and the Clueless

Man Vs. Baby Parenting for the Inept the Scared the Immature and the Clueless

Author: Matt Coyne
Publisher:
ISBN: 1472243749
Pages: 288
Year: 2017-04-20

Dummy

Dummy

Author: Matt Coyne
Publisher:
ISBN: 1472243722
Pages: 288
Year: 2017-04-20
In September 2015, Matt Coyne's partner Lyns gave birth to their first child, Charlie. One night three months later, sleep-deprived, his eyes still stinging from baby pee and knocked sideways by the realities that the baby books hadn't prepared him for, Matt stumbled to his computer and wrote a post on Facebook. That post went viral and was shared millions of times. Soon it was picked up by newspapers here and abroad, and Matt was even interviewed by Holly and Phil on This Morning. Since that first post Matt has been recording his experiences of having his life turned upside down by - in his own words - 'a furious, sleep-murdering, unstable and incontinent, breast-obsessed midget lodger'. His Facebook page 'Man Versus Baby' now has over 120K followers, a number that just keeps growing with each hilarious post. Honest, funny and incredibly warm-hearted - this is the parenting guide for real people.
Man vs. Baby

Man vs. Baby

Author: Matt Coyne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501187430
Pages: 272
Year: 2018-04-17
From a “hero for dads everywhere” (Daily Mirror), a hilarious, insightful, and heartfelt take on parenting based on a viral blog post that Ashton Kutcher called, “the best description of fatherhood I’ve ever read.” One evening, while his three-month-old son Charlie briefly slept, Matt Coyne staggered to his desk, opened his laptop, and wrote a side-splittingly funny Facebook post about early fatherhood: Comparing his diaper-changing skills to that of a Formula One pit crew, birth to a Saw movie, and the sound of a baby crying at 3am to “having the inside of your skill sandpapered by an angry Viking,” he shared his observations with friends and family—and soon, to his surprise, the world. In the spirit of that post, which became an instant sensation, Man vs. Baby is the tale of one man’s journey through the first year of parenthood, told with wit, humor, and heart. Part memoir, part tell-it-like-it-is parenting book, this is a ferociously funny, inventively foul-mouthed, and genuinely touching account of a baby’s first year, filled with relatable references to Harry Potter, McDonalds, and the villain in Die Hard. Matt covers everything you need to know, from labor (a good time to play “profanity bingo”) to what you might find in your baby’s diaper, a catalogue that includes The Phantom, The Expressionist, and The Jeff Goldblum. Capturing both the comic helplessness of new fatherhood and his deep love and admiration for his partner Lyndsay and child, Matt’s story will appeal to anyone who has a baby—or is even contemplating the idea. Whether you’re looking for a reprieve from the news cycle or a reminder of what’s most important in life, Man vs. Baby will have you laughing out loud—and, if you’re a new mother or father, filled with relief at being truly understood. A fresh take on the bewilderment and joy of having a baby from a rip-roaringly talented new voice, this combination memoir and advice book is sure to charm parents everywhere.
Answering 911

Answering 911

Author: Caroline Burau
Publisher: Minnesota Historical Society
ISBN: 0873516540
Pages: 206
Year: 2008-10-14

The Unmumsy Mum

The Unmumsy Mum

Author: Sarah Turner
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101993553
Pages: 304
Year: 2017-04-18
Creator of the popular blog "The Unmumsy Mum," Sarah Turner offers an uncensored account of her early years of parenting. Sarah Turner's first few months of parenting were tough. On the darkest of sleep-deprived days, when the baby would not settle and she was irritable and the house was a disaster-zone, she wanted to read about someone who felt the same. Someone who would reassure her that she wasn't a total failure. But she found nothing of the sort. She decided then and there that she would write something herself. She would document parenthood as she found it. Not how she wanted to find it or how she wanted other people to think that she found it. But how it was. Warts and all. Thus, her blog was born. Now with thousands of followers, "The Unmumsy Mum" blog covers everything from "baby-wearing incompetence" to "second child shortcuts." Full of candor, humor, and charm, this book—a #1 Sunday Times bestseller—shows us that we can read every parenting manual under the sun, but still have no bloody clue—and not having a clue is just fine.
The Nanny Connie Way

The Nanny Connie Way

Author: Connie Simpson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501184938
Pages: 272
Year: 2018-04-10
From the beloved nanny to stars like Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, and Cash Warren and Jessica Alba comes a loving yet no-nonsense guide to the first four months of parenthood so you can raise a happy baby—and be happy parents. There is nothing like the overwhelming love of gazing upon your beautiful newborn, but there is really nothing like the overwhelming terror of not being able to comfort that screaming baby. Have no fear! Nanny Connie is here with all the solutions you need for every baby-care dilemma from comforting a colicky infant to trying to breastfeed in public. Her sweet and sassy drawl seeps right out of these pages, reassuring you that everything will be fine, as she guides you with her God-given wisdom, larger-than-life compassion, and three decades worth of experience and patience. Connie, “quite simply one of the greatest humans on this planet” (Emily Blunt) and a mother herself, comes from many generations of strong women with loads of experience in mothering, midwifery, and Southern values. Broken into three easy-to-follow sections (pre-baby arrangements, that immediate post-birth glow, and the first four months of the rest of your life), The Nanny Connie Way is your go-to, first-time-parent-proof baby manual that will give you not only the guidance you crave, but also the confidence to be the best parent you can be. Connie tackles everything from: -Breastfeeding Do and Don’ts -The Power of the Pacifier -Bath Time With Baby -The Nighttime Sleep Ritual -Managing New Mommy Stress Connie won’t just get you through the sleepless nights and the explosive diapers—she’s going to make you thrive. *Download The Nanny Connie Way AR App to experience Nanny Connie in your own home through exclusive videos! (Please note, readers reading on a mobile device may not be able to experience the AR videos.)
Fatherhood

Fatherhood

Author: Marcus Berkmann
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1446459020
Pages: 288
Year: 2011-03-31
There are lots of books about parenthood. But if you look closely most of them are about motherhood. Fathers get brief paragraphs about needing the odd cuddle themselves and being helpful for carrying the heavier elements of baby kit, but that's it. Fatherhood - The Truth, on the other hand, is a shed-friendly man's guide to the whole scary, life-changing business. One that looks beyond the happy-clappy cliches into the fiery hell of night feeds and projectile vomiting. 'Shit happens' will suddenly start to make sense as a phrase. Providing crucial information and insight on every aspect of parenting with pitch-perfect humour, it takes the dad-to-be on a white-knuckle ride from conception to the first birthday that also considers the emotional truths and selfish imperatives that fathers are usually asked to bury out of sight. A personally informed journey, Fatherhood - The Truth also touches all the crucial practical bases to make it a one-stop, know-it-all manual for the father-to-be.
The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes

The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 1909396095
Pages: 300
Year: 2013-08-08
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that its in the way that you tell them, Dads for the best part of forever have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether its telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers but dont tell your dad that, itll only encourage him!
12 Rules for Life

12 Rules for Life

Author: Jordan B. Peterson
Publisher: Random House Canada
ISBN: 0345816048
Pages: 320
Year: 2018-01-23
#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER What does everyone in the modern world need to know? Renowned psychologist Jordan B. Peterson's answer to this most difficult of questions uniquely combines the hard-won truths of ancient tradition with the stunning revelations of cutting-edge scientific research. Humorous, surprising and informative, Dr. Peterson tells us why skateboarding boys and girls must be left alone, what terrible fate awaits those who criticize too easily, and why you should always pet a cat when you meet one on the street. What does the nervous system of the lowly lobster have to tell us about standing up straight (with our shoulders back) and about success in life? Why did ancient Egyptians worship the capacity to pay careful attention as the highest of gods? What dreadful paths do people tread when they become resentful, arrogant and vengeful? Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure and responsibility, distilling the world's wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life. 12 Rules for Life shatters the modern commonplaces of science, faith and human nature, while transforming and ennobling the mind and spirit of its readers.
Confessions of a Learner Parent

Confessions of a Learner Parent

Author: Sam Avery
Publisher: Seven Dials
ISBN: 1409175642
Pages: 288
Year: 2017-10-05
'I always wanted kids - but then again, I always wanted a loft conversion. Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.
Man vs Life

Man vs Life

Author: Rob Pegley
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
ISBN: 1743363672
Pages: 120
Year: 2012-08-01
Over 30? Married? Children? Desk job? Unfit? Stressed? Time poor? Jaded? Is this you? If so, here are some random things you might learn from Man vs Life. That whether we like it or not, our function in life is to facilitate family life (often grudgingly, i.e. I m not a taxi you know or you re only nice to me when you want money ). That our children tell us we need to take a chill pill . That we all like pork belly and duck. And we will happily pick something off the floor to eat it if we feel it was only dropped in the last 48 hours. That love, sex and friendship are all possible at once, but it s a big ask over a long period of time. That two days sick leave is more believable than one. Written in the style of a spoof PowerPoint business report, Man vs Life is a humorous look at the psyche of the married man in his 30s and 40s, who works in an office and is overrun by children and financial stress, and gently mocks his domestic situation and the crisis he faces on a daily basis.
Man vs. Toddler

Man vs. Toddler

Author: Matt Coyne
Publisher: Wildfire
ISBN: 1472245067
Pages: 288
Year: 2019-05-07
More inept, more clueless and more exhausted than ever, the man behind the blogging phenomenon Man vs Baby is back with the latest installment in his (and his son Charlie's) journey through the chaos and comedy of parenting In the follow-up to the critically acclaimed Sunday Times bestseller Dummy comes Man vs Toddler - the story of what happens when your little one is transformed from an innocent bundle of joy into a creature that walks, talks... and craps in a plastic bucket in the middle of your living room. Man vs Toddler exposes the lie that, that when it comes to parenting 'it gets easier'. But it is just as foul-mouthed and heart-warming as Matt's first book, and will have you laughing and crying with recognition as he shares his observations and advice on everything from tantrums to the horrors of soft-play.
How to DAD

How to DAD

Author: Jordan Watson
Publisher:
ISBN: 1877505854
Pages: 160
Year: 2016-10-26
How to Dad's first book! Well-known for his funny videos on Facebook and YouTube, Jordan Watson shares his best stories and tricks.
Planning with Kids

Planning with Kids

Author: Nicole Avery
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 0730375668
Pages: 272
Year: 2011-05-04
The ultimate guide for parents who dream of having a little less chaos and a lot more time for the good things in life Written by mother of five, Nicole Avery, this book shows harried parents how, with just a bit of planning, family life can become easier to manage, less stressful, and decidedly more fun. "Dream on," you say? "I might as well try to herd cats as to get my kids to follow a lot of arbitrary rules!" And Nicole would agree, which is why Planning with Kids isn't like any other parenting guide out there. It was inspired by Nicole's blog of the same name, which, over the past three years, has garnered a huge audience of likeminded parents who have achieved nothing short of miraculous results following her advice. While other prescriptive guides offer mums and dads cook-cutter solutions to the challenges of raising kids, this handbook focuses on one simple, straightforward idea: by implementing a few simple strategies for how you do things, you'll make more time for you to be you and your kids to be kids. You'll find strategies for streamlining and enhancing everything from the routines of daily life, to family relationships, to budgeting and finances, playtime and much more! Contains a full section on menus and cooking, including recipes, supported online by a planning-with-family meal planner Divided into sections so that readers can dip-in and dip-out for information as they need it as their family expands and grows up!