Man Up Tales Of My Delusional Self Confidence A Chelsea Handler Bookborderline Amazing Publishing Book PDF, EPUB Download & Read Online Free

Man Up!

Man Up!

Author: Ross Mathews
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455501794
Pages: 204
Year: 2013-05-07
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
Man Up!

Man Up!

Author: Ross Mathews
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455501794
Pages: 204
Year: 2013-05-07
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455577529
Pages: 240
Year: 2013-04-30
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
My Inappropriate Life

My Inappropriate Life

Author: Heather McDonald
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451672225
Pages: 253
Year: 2013-02-05
A comedy writer on the televison show "Chelsea Lately" shares her misadventures with married life and parenthood, describing her relationship with next-door parents, her baby-seeking sister, and judgmental neighborhood moms.
Blame It On Bianca Del Rio

Blame It On Bianca Del Rio

Author: Bianca Del Rio
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062690884
Pages: 272
Year: 2018-05-22
Uproarious advice and never-before-seen color photos from drag queen extraordinaire Bianca Del Rio The cheeky, larger-than-life drag queen and outrageous comic—"The Joan Rivers of the Drag World," (New York Times)—who isn’t afraid to shock or offend brings her trademark acerbic wit and sharp commentary to the page in an illustrated collection of advice. When it comes to insult comics, Bianca Del Rio is in a class by herself. Fierce, funny, and fabulous—a would-be love child sired by John Waters and birthed by Joan Rivers—Bianca sandblasted her name in the annals of pop culture on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Thanks to her snarky frankness, impeccable comedic timing, and politically incorrect humor, she became the show’s breakout star, winning its sixth season. In Blame It On Bianca Del Rio, Bianca shares her opinions loudly and proudly, offering raucous, hilarious, no-holds-barred commentary on the everyday annoyances, big and small, that color her world, and make it a living, albeit amusing, hell for anyone who inhabits it. A collection of biting advice filled with vibrant photos from Bianca’s twisted universe, Blame It On Bianca Del Rio will shock you and keep you laughing. But be warned: it is not for the faint of heart!
It Takes Balls

It Takes Balls

Author: Josh Wolf
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455511692
Pages: 272
Year: 2013-03-19
Josh Wolf--one of the stars and writers of Chelsea Lately and After Lately--delivers a hilarious collection of essays that reminds us all what it takes to conquer fatherhood without sacrificing manhood. Struggling to make it as a stand-up comic didn't always fit with being a single parent. But Josh figured out his own set of rules--through trial and (frequent) error. Early picking up kids from school? The nearby strip club is a great place to kill time and bond with some like-minded dads. Want a drunken heart-to-heart with your son? First make sure there's no Sharpie around in case you pass out. Wondering where to take that special someone at the end of the night? Remember that no sane woman will have sex with you in a one-bedroom apartment where your kids are sleeping--even if you promise to be really, really quiet. Whether it's revealing the secrets to limitless hookups (hint: it's single moms) and getting rid of your children's friends that you just can't stand (hint: it's not single moms), or blackmailing PTA members and ignoring health codes, Josh is sure to impart some parenting wisdom along the way. Or at least have a good time trying.
My 1980s and Other Essays

My 1980s and Other Essays

Author: Wayne Koestenbaum
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0374533776
Pages: 320
Year: 2013-08-13
"A new book of essays by the cultural critic Wayne Koestenbaum, author of The Queen's Throat and Jackie Under My Skin"--
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416596364
Pages: 264
Year: 2009-12-29
The comedienne star of the Chelsea Handler Show describes her experiences with misbegotten boyfriends, her eccentric mixed-religion parents and the working world, a lifetime marked by numerous inebriated misadventures. Reprint. A #1 best-seller.
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446563536
Pages: 256
Year: 2010-04-01
WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me

Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me

Author: Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Publisher: Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
ISBN: 1455504653
Pages: 304
Year: 2011-05-10
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
The Sex Issue

The Sex Issue

Author: The Editors of GOOP
Publisher: Grand Central Life & Style
ISBN: 1538729431
Pages: 256
Year: 2018-05-01
An eye-catching, conversation-sparking book that answers all your questions on sexuality, seduction, and sex by the editors of GOOP. A beautifully illustrated, gift-y, sometimes shocking, fact-filled book that explores everything we've always wondered about sex and relationships, but may have been too shy to bring up. Broken into five sections, GOOP editors introduce the experts they rely on for sex tips, and dive into focused Q&A's that explore the ins and outs of sexual health, pleasure, and how to have the kind of sex you really want-while feeling good about doing it. Part 1, Seduction: Goes beyond the clichés to help the reader explore the inner and outer art of seduction-with advice on attracting new partners, reigniting the flame once it's gone out, and navigating online dating, unconventional relationship scenarios, the sex toy aisle, and more. Part 2, Sexuality: What sexuality means, looks, and feels like today, and how we can better tap into our sexual power-including a chapter on strengthening your libido, simple tantric tricks to up sexual energy, and fun ideas for exploring your own kinks. Part 3, Sexual Health: Covers the essentials (like clean lube and condoms, and how to reset your hormones), easy exercises for strengthening the pelvic floor, as well as a path for redefining porn-all with the goal of getting real joy from sex, as opposed to just avoiding the potential calamities. Part 4, Orgasm: Busts enduring sex myths, with expert advice on closing the orgasm gap, doing away with the pressure to perform, and the many benefits of self-pleasure. Part 5: Doing It: The antidote to bedroom boredom, the psychology of oral sex, how to ask for what you want-and play out your greatest fantasies. Throughout the book you'll find endcaps on the reality of everything from plain vanilla to ménage à trois, sidebars of mind-blowing stats culled from goop readers, and personal quotes and anecdotes (i.e. the first time I had sex...) from the GOOP team.
Uganda Be Kidding Me

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455599727
Pages: 272
Year: 2014-03-04
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.
Note to Self

Note to Self

Author: Gayle King
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982102101
Pages: 176
Year: 2018-05-08
In this New York Times bestseller, Gayle King collects her favorite inspiring letters from the popular CBS This Morning segment Note to Self, in which twenty-first century luminaries pen advice and encouragement to the young people they once were. What do Congressman John Lewis, Dr. Ruth, Coach K, and Kermit the Frog wish they could tell their younger selves? What about a gay NFL player or the most successful female race car driver? In Note to Self, CBS This Morning cohost Gayle King shares some of the most memorable letters from the broadcast’s popular segment of the same name. With essays from such varied figures as Oprah, Vice President Joe Biden, Chelsea Handler, and Maya Angelou—as well as poignant words from a Newtown father and a military widow—Note to Self is a moving reflection on the joys and challenges of growing up and a perfect gift for any occasion.
Life as I Blow it

Life as I Blow it

Author: Sarah Colonna, Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Villard Books
ISBN: 0345528379
Pages: 239
Year: 2012
Traces the story of the comedian's youth in small-town Arkansas, her relocation at twenty-one to her father's home in California, and her vice-marked acting career.
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476771928
Pages: 288
Year: 2015-03-31
The best-selling author of Life as I Blow It documents her haphazard journey through America and Mexico as she embarks on crying jags in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos and single-shaming resorts. Original.